The Day I Ran Away

“Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” Mark 6:31

Does it count that you sort of plan to run away? And you wait until your kids are away at a retreat and your husband is scheduled to work? If it doesn’t count; then I just left for a little adventure.

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I live a blessed life, but the pressures of always being “on duty” begins to weigh heavy on a wife/mom/friend. I home school my high school students, try to stay in daily bible study, work on projects around my house, and run kids to sporting events. I try to stay on top of the laundry,  I’m involved with my local church and working on a devotional for crafters.  I meet with a few lovely ladies each week and pray with them, I have several friends who really “need” me available to them, yet I have little to give them. We have an open door policy at our house and practice biblical hospitality. My health is not at its’ peak, and even getting to the doctor takes a back seat, so I remain fatigued. We have a busy home and although I see other families who are involved in so much more than ours, I just don’t see how to squeeze one more ounce into my schedule.  I can become weary from guilt by not being available to more people. Another week goes by and I failed to even shoot a text out to someone when they come to my mind, shows me that I am running on empty.

So with my husbands blessing, we talked through places I could go. But then that little voice starts to guilt me again: whose feelings will I hurt, and would I get the rest if I was with others? Can I just be honest? I needed to be alone. No talking, no listening, no burden bearing. That’s what I needed out of this trip. Alone so I could pray, and seek His face, rest, re-calibrate, and just enjoy some down time. I truly want to see others do well in the Lord. The gift of mercy allows me to share the joys with others but also bear your burdens along with you.  Like the friends in Luke 5 who carried their paralyzed friend up to the roof to lower him to Jesus, mercy can be physically exhausting. They knew that this friend needed Jesus and they were there to encourage and do what it took to get this friend to Jesus feet. I want to be that type of wife, mom and friend. I fall very short.

I know I am not called to save the world; I’m called to worship the Savior of the world. I’m also called to “to teach what is good,  and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to my own husband”(Titus 2). I’m called to “know God’s word” and lay them “up on my heart and in my soul.” I’m called to teach His word to my children, talking of them when I’m sitting in your house, and when I’m are walking by the way, and when I lie down, and when I rise.(Deut. 6)  And this is all tiring. I’m grateful that He supplies my needs and even this trip is a gift from a loving husband and an even more loving Father! So, any guilt is not from Him and I will finish this little get-a-way, enjoying  common graces with the added delight of knowing the One from whom all good things are given.

If Jesus Himself went away to be regenerated through prayer, quietness and meditation, it only makes sense that this is wise rhythm for all of us to follow from time to time.. “And after He had dismissed the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. When evening came, He was there alone” Matthew 14:22-23

Tomorrow I will share the fun of my excellent adventure.

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